The letter “F” is for Friends

I consider myself blessed as I have some excellent friends. Seriously, I would not have made it these past months without them. Last July my mother died and I felt like I was drowning in grief. My friends kept me afloat. I am not sure how I would have managed without them.

Grieving over the loss of the unconditional love that only a parent can give is incredibly hard. There is emptiness inside that can never be filled. After the funeral, life goes on whether you are ready or not. Going back to work was especially tough as I work in a group home for developmentally disabled adults. The thing is, with this job it is necessary to check any emotional baggage at the door. Much of communication is non-verbal and role-modeling. If you do not have your emotions in check you may quickly find them reflected back at you. Your stress and pain becomes theirs making it even harder to deal with.

However, I was very fortunate that I have two excellent coworkers who are also my good friends. They literally protected me emotionally at work and ran interference when necessary. A few times they suggested I take a long break to regain my composure. I was the in-charge of the shift, but they took charge of me and helped me through a difficult time.

I think I was even more amazed at the support I received from my online friends. People I barely knew reached out to comfort and support me. I was sent phone numbers and told that I could call day or night. I wouldn’t do that, but it was a comfort to know that they were there.

Although, many people reached out, I could really only talk to a few. They understood when I could not talk and stood quietly by, respecting my space. I know that it must have been frustrating for them. I could not tell them what I needed. I didn’t know. Mostly they just let me talk. They did not tell me what to do, they just listened. Months later they are still here for me, listening when I need to talk.

I still have my bad days, but I am better than I was. And I got here with the help of my friends. So to everyone who was there for me I can only say thank you. I am fortunate to have all of you in my life whether it is in person or virtually as an online friend. You are the best!